Blog Posts, childhood cancer, Pediatric Cancer

Is There A Right Way To Say Goodbye?

How do you say a final goodbye to someone who means so much to you? Are there any final words or any final actions that need to be done? Are there a certain amount of hugs and kisses that make it easier for your heart to handle? Is there a proper way to give your last hug and say goodbye? Is goodbye even appropriate or is it see you on the other side? There is nothing in this world that can prepare you for your last moment with someone who means the world to you… and it scares the mess out of me.

There’s nothing more in this world that I would love to do than to save someone from dying. To cure whatever disease they have that’s taking them away. To give all my hugs and kisses if it meant they could stay on this side of life with me… 

Life doesn’t prepare you for death. It doesn’t prepare you to lose your best friend. It beats the hell out of you and tells you it’s only making you stronger… even when you know strength is the last thing you have. Life gives us lessons upon lessons and evidently death is one of those. I’ve never been afraid of death until recently… really, I haven’t. I’ve thought of it as a sometimes beautiful, always going to happen part of life and although I might not understand it, I’ve never been scared of it. Until now…

There’s no right or wrong way to process the dying process. And honestly, I’m not sure why it’s not talked about it more. Maybe death isn’t what scares me, maybe it’s the process that I’m fearful of. Watching someone you care deeply for slipping into a different person, but having the same body isn’t a lesson I was prepared to learn at this stage in my life. But then comes a slight bit of comfort… the slightest bit. Knowing I spent the best moments when we had them, taking advantage of every minute possible and letting them know how much they were loved because I knew the time was coming… it’s a blessing. The dying process is heart wrenching, but being prepared and having the time… I’ll forever be thankful for. 

So, no. There’s no proper way to say goodbye… at least not that I’ve come across. What I do know is this: don’t wait until your time is capped with a limit. Enjoy the present moment. Give all your love, even if it means leaving you a little bit empty. Don’t hold back your heart, just because you’re scared of the end. Nothing worth having ever comes easy… and those memories? You’ll have them forever. 

https://diocesan.com/letting-go-and-letting-god/
Let Go and Let God (picture taken from Diocesan.com)
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2 thoughts on “Is There A Right Way To Say Goodbye?”

  1. “I said to the man at the gate of the year, ‘Give me a light that I may walk safely into the unknown’.” “He said to me, ‘Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God.” “It shall be to you better than the light, and safer than the known.”

    A New Year’s message from Britain’s King George VI, to his embattled people at the beginning of WWII.

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